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Why Compassion is a Fundamental Leadership Strength — and a Necessity to Save Our Democracy
Even now, in my late thirties, I vividly recall the heartbreak I felt as a young child seeing devastating images of war flash across the evening news. With uncanny resolve for a four-year-old, I decided then and there that when I grew up I would do something to ease suffering in the world. That spark of compassion ignited a lifelong commitment to alleviating pain and injustice, beginning with volunteering in my tiny hometown and evolving into a career as a changemaker advancing the common good on national and global stages.
Yet, the unwavering resolve of my four-year-old self has been tested countless times by the harsh realities of injustice and oppression. As a Black transgender person, I have always been keenly aware of the systems and mentalities that diminish and dehumanize people like me. I discovered that living with compassion and being of service in a world rife with cruelty and inequity would push me to my limits in ways I never anticipated. It has tested not just my resolve but my very ability to stay true to my values.
Time and time again, however, I have found that compassion is not only a source of strength but also a powerful catalyst for transformation — both personally and collectively. This truth has defined my life’s work, from persevering in public service to helping other changemakers lead with values and courage. Compassion, as Dr. Thupten Jinpa defines it, is “a sense of concern that arises when we are confronted with others’ suffering and feel motivated to see that suffering relieved.” It has proven to be not only my guiding principle but also the foundation of my belief in a better, more just society.
Becoming an Elected Official
In 2017, I was elected to the Minneapolis City Council, becoming the first transmasculine person of color elected to office after a grueling campaign against a 50-year family dynasty. While in office, I fought for major system changes like protecting domestic violence survivors from unjust evictions, creating affordable housing, launching unarmed mental health crisis response teams, and more. These changes have produced positive results; however, the backlash was relentless at the time.
After George Floyd’s murder by the Minneapolis Police Department, the intensity of public outcry grew exponentially, with competing demands for both major systemic change and business as usual. There was no real pathway to success in anyone’s eyes. The intense scrutiny and misinformation — such as false claims about my motives for public safety reforms — left me increasingly isolated, defensive, and disconnected from my true self.
My compassion helped me remain committed to public service and the fight for progress for all, but I was so angry and deeply hurt that I could no longer tap into compassion in how I was showing up on a personal level. I was quick to defensiveness and open frustration, losing my ability to truly hear what people were trying to say and find common ground. The collective hate directed at me became overwhelming, and I found myself shutting off compassion for anyone who contributed to it. Every insult and threat became another brick between me and the world, separating me from my best self.
By the time my reelection campaign ended in a bitter loss after a traumatizing cycle of misinformation campaigns, personal attacks, and threats to my family, my mental health was completely underwater. The constant anxiety and fear eventually took a toll on my physical health as well, causing high blood pressure by age 33. For the first time in my life, I questioned my purpose because all I could feel was anger and devastation.
Rediscovering My Compassion
After months of depression, lying on the couch and feeling untethered from my purpose, I reached for a lifeline: A Fearless Heart by Dr. Jinpa. I hoped his guidance could help me release the anger and heartbreak that had become barriers between me and my best self.
As I made my way through the book, I forced myself to sit with those difficult emotions during Compassion Cultivation Training© practices like the “Just Like Me” exercise. This practice asks you to recognize that others — just like you — seek happiness and grapple with their own struggles. Yes, even the people who caused me harm. Little by little, the anger that had once stood like a brick wall between survival mode and my best self began to dissolve. It became more like a dense fog, slowly dissipating until I could see my purpose again. I remembered that I am here to do my part to alleviate suffering in the world by being of service, and I certainly didn’t need an election certificate to live that purpose.
Determined to move forward, I began unpacking the difficult experiences I had endured, exploring them as invaluable, hard-earned leadership lessons. These reflections revealed areas where I could grow — both as a leader and as a person — and how I could align my actions more closely with my values. This marked the start of a period of tremendous post-traumatic growth, during which I reclaimed my purpose and began rebuilding my life with newfound clarity and resilience.
Compassion as a Fundamental Leadership Strength
As I reflected on my post-traumatic growth, I realized one of the most important leadership lessons of my life: I could no longer fully show up as my best self or lead in alignment with my values when I lost access to my internal well of compassion, including self-compassion.
Before, during, and after my time in elected office, I have been a leadership development program designer and facilitator. I discovered this passion as a youth worker and became committed to helping values-driven changemakers of all ages lead effectively in furthering the common good.
Rediscovering my compassion not only transformed me personally but also reshaped my approach to leadership development. I knew any leadership development program I created moving forward had to clearly name compassion as a fundamental leadership strength. It also had to provide tools to other change making leaders so they could systematically replenish their anchoring source of compassion and continue fueling their values-driven work.
Just as compassion is critical to effective leadership at the individual level, I began to understand how it is also essential to the broader systems in which we live and work—including democracy itself.
Why Compassion Matters Now More Than Ever
Democracy is under threat. Around the world — and here in the United States — we are witnessing rising authoritarianism, political and hate-motivated violence, and the erosion of fundamental freedoms. Freedom House has documented this alarming trend of democratic backsliding since 2007, underscoring a critical truth: democracy cannot survive without compassion.
Dr. Jinpa’s definition of compassion provides a roadmap for rebuilding trust and fostering solidarity in polarized societies. However, compassion is not about excusing harm or foregoing accountability — it’s about recognizing shared humanity while maintaining boundaries to protect ourselves and others. In fact, boundaries are a form of self-compassion.
At its most powerful, democracy centers both the collective well-being of a society and the freedom, liberty, and well-being of the individual. Compassion builds trust, bridges divides, and fosters solidarity across differences, making it essential for addressing the polarization threatening our democratic systems. Without compassion, no democracy reform attempt can succeed.
Further, by staying connected to our values and refusing to let anger or hatred consume us, compassion allows us to seek justice without replicating the cruelty we aim to dismantle. The coexistence of compassion and accountability can strengthen our democracy’s resilience and safeguard its greatest ideals.
A Call to Action
For our democracy to survive and be rebuilt, compassion must be a cornerstone of how we interact with one another. By practicing compassion — not as a passive ideal but as an active, courageous choice and even when it is not reciprocated — we reject the toxic cycles of cruelty and division. Compassion allows us to uphold one of democracy’s foundational principle: that all people deserve dignity. It builds the trust and solidarity needed to sustain a pluralistic society where our interconnectedness means no one’s rights are safe until everyone’s are protected.
In a time of rising authoritarianism and polarization, compassion is both a moral responsibility and a practical strategy for safeguarding democracy. It takes immense courage to extend dignity to those who dehumanize us, but this courage strengthens the social fabric that binds us together and ensures our resilience as a society, while also protecting our own emotional, mental, and physical wellness. Together, we can create a society where a thriving multicultural democracy is not just an aspiration but our reality.
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